Paint me...

Paint me...-1, originally uploaded by jjvannorman.

It's been about 5 months since re-joining my company after being "fired" in September.

I knew then but now with a deeper perspective, that i was still much more fortunate than many, many others who are trying to meet the day-to-day demands of trying to get by. Very few folks have 60 days to remain on roll while seeking another job -- it gave me the window to return to my position at work. As my good friend Cal said -- "you're one lucky bastard".

I'd like to write more about my job, but frankly it still seems like I'm getting settled in and haven't quite the ability to articulate how I see myself -- career-wise. I'm certainly less susceptible to whatever rumour happens my way, having already been through it once. It does seem somewhat empowering and I think there's some truth to the saying "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger".

I've lately become interested again in my photography including many photos taken during my "sabbatical". I was surprised at the emotional impact of being "fired" and the feelings of feeling less worthy or dare I say it -- a failure. I'm sure that's some of the feeling I still carry today.

My joy of photography was certainly dampened, but lately the itch has come back and it's interesting to see the photos I took whilst I was wallowing in failure-mode. My joy of writing seems to go hand-in-hand with my photography.

I'm not yet satisfied with my writing, I know I am being too reticent on expressing details and my feelings, but I'm hoping this is a growth process to be nurtured.